How To Get Through A Hard Time Of Waiting
It wears on you. A lot of times we find ourselves in a waiting period with some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. But this past year in 2017, waiting has taken on a new meaning. It has involved children.
Back in 2013, we waited for my daughter to come home from her birth country. It was long, hard, and my heart felt like it could burst every day with love for a child I had never met. When she came home, I truly felt a new sense of peace for the first time in a long time!
2017 has been a whirlwind of similar waiting. Back in March of this year, we were connected with two beautiful children who we longed to be a part of our family. The birth mother chose us to be the forever family for her children and a private adoption was in the works. But the process was handed over to the government and was no longer going to be done quickly or privately.
Before we knew it, we were placed in overworked, underpaid hands. I’ve had to learn in this season how to accept a million steps that could have been done in five if it weren’t for strict processes. I’ve learned how to put on a strong face for my kids when I want to scream in frustration after the news of more delays. And I’ve learned how to love two kids as best as I can from miles and miles away.
Being in an adoption process is hard, confusing, full of high-level stress and very lonely. I will never get this year of waiting back, but I can choose to look at this time through a different lens.
This adoption journey has taught me a lot about my mind. I have learned that when my mind is left to its own devices without my intentional supervising, I drum up a really toxic world — one full of suffering without any sense of hope. My mind during a time of waiting can turn into a black hole. And the interesting thing is, I don’t always look for a way out. Like Plato’s allegory of The Cave, I convince myself: This is it.
What I have learned from this year of waiting is to be much more intentional with monitoring my thoughts, looking for a way out of the darkness, and overcoming the toxic world I easily create.
Maybe you’re fine with going through periods of waiting and making the most of that time, or maybe you’re like me and end up at the finish line looking weathered and worn. If you’re like me, start by setting boundaries for your thoughts and filtering what you allow into your mind. Don’t see the waiting period as a black hole with no way out. See the time as a way to build your character for what the Lord has called you too. Unfortunately, God doesn’t look at time the same way that we do for His timing is always perfect.
“Many times when God isn’t changing your circumstance it’s because He’s mostly concerned with changing YOU within the circumstance. Your character, your inner strength, your integrity matters to Him because they are everlasting qualities. The wisdom, the strength and the maturity that grows within you are all things you’re going to need to sustain the calling God has on your life.” –Brittney Moses
As we reach the end of this time of waiting, I see hope. I also see the way the Lord has sustained me and become my way out of the black hole. Though my circumstances haven’t yet changed, my mindset has and I hope and pray that I can use the remainder of my time waiting to prepare myself for all that the Lord has planned for me.